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Some things suck when you have infertility.  It is really hard to go along and get along with others’ requests and demands for attendance at events.  You might have enjoyed spending time with others in the past but now certain things can feel like a hot poker in your eye.  Isolating from the world is too much but being selective about what you want to do—or not—can bring you a sense of control.  Over something, anyway. I am happy today to offer you permission to say, “No.” Or “Nope.” Or “I don’t want to.”  Without any explanations.  Here are four things to avoid during infertility treatment:

• Baby showers—I know that you know this one already. Baby showers are not happy and silly when you are aching for a child yourself.  #justsayno
• Family gatherings with children—You know that someone is going to ask you to hold the new baby. Or talk about how cute children are and ask you when you are going to have children yourself.  I know that families can be tricky and demanding.  It is okay to beg off with vague excuses about not feeling well.  #throwingup
• Anyone who tells you to relax, it will happen, or why don’t you just adopt—Sometimes this one comes out of left field or even from a trusted person. You are there for some chips and dip and a know-it-all has lots of advice for you.  You have permission to let that person know that you are not having that conversation.  Then it’s okay to walk away.  #stopit
• The baby section at stores—Well, duh. I hope that you will spend plenty of time in the baby section later but it’s just too much right now.  Thank goodness for the Internet.  If you need a gift for someone, go to the Web.  Or let your partner do the ordering. #noway

This is a short list.  There are many others.  Please share what has helped you.  Be as snarky as you feel the need to be.  What other types of things and people should others avoid?